Our care

Yet there comes a point in your life when you feel obliged to consider whether or not you want children. 33 years old, in a relationship, a house. Actually almost complete. My partner already wanted children six months after the start of the relationship. 33 years old, that is the moment to think about it. To face reality. What would give me satisfaction and happiness in the long term than short-term pleasures. To save a lot of deliberation (I remain a Libra) we wanted to go for it anyway. Whether it would work is another matter, but it is not in my nature to get too worked up about something, at least…not yet.
Looking back, I think I can rightly say that I could not have wished for a smoother pregnancy.

Everything started to turn after the pregnancy tests (well actually all 5 tests in 1 day) were positive. The result was “more than 3 weeks”. I remember it well. Nothing was the same after that. I told my partner, very subtly I know, over the phone. He was deliriously happy. And I, I still had to get used to the idea. It was more or less planned, but we left it to nature. I had been on contraception (pill) for 17 years, never expected it to happen within half a year.
Then you open the internet. There it says “make an appointment with a midwife”. I was standing with 1 foot in an ongoing move so I decided to go for Verloskundigepraktijk Maashaven. This was close to me when things would really get harder and I moved to Rotterdam. New house, new city, new views so a new life.
This was also the main reason for my choice in the different midwifery practices. After my first appointment and the next ones I did not regret it. Our family would be very mixed. I am half Dutch, half Filipino and my partner is Serbian. So it felt really nice to encounter so many different cultures which would require some flexibility from the practice. This is what I like, flexibility. Not too stiff, relaxed (even though you are pregnant). We were received super and it was accompanied by a lot of humor. Serious matters regarding the pregnancy were clearly discussed, but what I remember most and what I should not forget is that they said to enjoy it above all. All appointments were done quickly with a nice conversation. All checks were fine; neat vital functions, relaxed and above all no worries. I could ask all my questions, especially about sports. Could I still go horse riding? and for how long? I really enjoy this and it brings enormous peace and relaxation. Fortunately, this was still possible if it was responsible. It was actually good to do as much as possible as before, if your body allows it.
Looking back on the pregnancy: I was not nauseous from the beginning to the end of the pregnancy, not noticeably more tired. I ate healthily and had enough exercise. I gained 9 kilos and had a modest belly. Incidentally, the only ailment, apart from my hormones probably (my partner denied this very safely – wisely -), was my bladder. Every 15 minutes to the toilet, or when I just came off it, I immediately feel my bladder filling up.
I was already looking forward to every appointment with the midwife so I could hear something again. I never really worried because I felt the little one in my belly very often.
At the 20-week ultrasound we were very curious about the gender. It was a girl. It was no secret either. The only thing we wanted to keep to ourselves was her name. But we already knew that (although we did have discussions about the spelling). Subsequently, I did have a medical ultrasound at 32 weeks. The placenta could possibly block the exit, as it was low at the last ultrasound.
I entered my last weeks carefree. I could still wear my own clothes, tie my shoelaces and even paint my toenails (it is summer after all). I decided to work until 4 weeks before my due date so that my leave afterwards would be a bit longer. No sooner said than done. Only our little girl came a week early…

“You can call the midwife when the contractions come every 5 minutes and last for 1 minute”
It sounds so easy. Put on a stopwatch and count. It could take hours.

Earlier that day I had loaded the dogs and driven to the dunes for a nice walk. When I got home everything went as normal. Of course I got bored quickly. Everything was already arranged. Flight case, nursery ready, maternity package in the attic.
That evening I was sitting on the couch and lost an almost insignificant amount of fluid. I thought it must be my bladder again. The uncharming side effects of pregnancy. I cleaned it and jokingly told my partner that it was amniotic fluid. He could see that it was a joke and joked that I must have wet my pants and said that it would only come in 2 days when he was back from a business trip in Belgium. I went to bed to sleep. That night I woke up at half past two. I was in pain. I woke him up and we both knew that the moment had arrived. He filled the bath and started counting. He measured 20 seconds every 5 minutes. All sorts of questions came up: “Can you call yet? It is every 5 minutes but not for 1 minute”. It was quite intense, but I felt like I couldn’t wait any longer. Because you get to know each other at midwife appointments, she could also estimate well that it might be time soon. It took us longer than the midwife to go to the hospital. I had indicated in advance that I would like to give birth in the Ikazia. Purely because it is our first child and it feels “safe” to give birth in the hospital, although I don’t think it matters much if there are no complications. On the way to the car, during the ride to the hospital and in the long hospital hall we had to stop again because the contractions seemed to come every minute. Severe pains too, from the beginning. It really felt like stopping. I was met in the hallway by the midwife (Charity) and escorted to the room.
I took off my coat and it immediately started up again. I told her this and I was able to lie down on the bed straight away so that she could see how far along I was.
I was allowed to push straight away. However, this felt like a relief instead of having to hold it in for so long.

And there she was. We were busy for a minute, a few minutes in the hospital and there she was. Very fast, very beautiful and very healthy. The pain is very painful in an instant, but you also feel that you have to go through it. Go through it, together with your partner, midwife and the nurse. No way back and you know that the relief will not be long in coming. There was Alyssa, all fingers and toes and yes, still as seen on the ultrasounds was still a girl. A beautiful average girl of 3305 grams born at 5.01 am. It has proven once again that a little one does not plan; daddy could no longer go on a business trip this morning, But that does not matter, that does not matter at all.

After 3 hours we were already on our way back, the three of us. When we got home the dogs were upset. The owners had suddenly left in the middle of the night and normally they always say goodbye. Now they came back with someone else. It is wonderful how well animals sense that the baby is a new member of the family, our pack now. Even to this day they watch over her. They are crazy about her and sometimes even seem proud!

The weeks after that, Alyssa has been a truly exemplary baby. She quickly slept through the night, ate and drank well and gained weight well after a week. She still looks a lot like daddy. This is a nice feeling, he is just that little bit more involved. From clumsy in the beginning to already fairly experienced parents, all thanks to the midwives of the Maashaven practice and Kraamzorg Rotterdam. I also don’t want to forget to mention my mother, who I spoke to quite often on the phone in the beginning when I didn’t know what to do anymore and became insecure. Alyssa is now 4 months old. Looks like daddy and character like mommy! She neatly follows her curves in weight and length and we are still very proud. How is it possible that the pregnancy and delivery went so smoothly until the first few weeks? I am convinced that it is due to one word; relaxation.
We hardly worried about anything, lived our lives as well as possible as before. Sports, going out of the house a lot, working and especially humor. These qualities were also found in the midwifery practice. This only reinforced the relaxation that led to laughter even in the hustle and bustle to this day.

Greetings,

Jessica, Milan and Alyssa